what my mind looks like on wednesday, may 23rd 2012 at 11:28pm.

  • It’s my half birthday today. I’ll be 20 in 6 months. weird.
  • I hated telling my girls that I’m leaving them ): I really hope I stay good at keeping up with them so they feel like I never left. 
  • I’ve been very very thankful lately. My prayers have been more for others than myself. I think it’s an indication that I’m finally learning to be content with Jesus. I like it.  I love it. I love Him.
  • I always said I wanted to be engaged by college graduation. I’m not so sure anymore. I’m gonna be working towards a career that involves traveling, maybe even relocating to a developing country. That’s not really ideal for a marriage.
  • It’s weird to think that I’ll ever love someone enough to give up traveling for them. 
  • I want to be able to love someone that much.
  • I want to make writing habitual. I need to write every single day.
  • I also want to read every day.
  • Is it summer yet?
  • There’s too much month at the end of my money. 
  • I wonder if I can convince my momma to help pay for clothes I can wear to work. 
  • I’m scared for my car. I need to take it to get its oil changed & tires rotated. And my brakes really need to get checked. It sounds like somethings about to fall off of somewhere. 
  • I miss Hume.
  • My flight options to Cleveland are all pretty full, I really really hope I get on one of them. Dutton time is very much necessary.
  • I will travel out of the country this summer. Even if it’s just a 30 hour layover in Tel Aviv with my dad.
  • I wonder how my sister’s week is going. 
  • A sufficient amount of time by myself is necessary daily. When I move home, I need to make serious efforts to get my alone time. I can be such an introvert sometimes. Most of the time.
  • I miss Cindy, Laura, Melissa, Paige & Daniela. Those girls can never and will never be replaced. Sometimes I wonder if they know how much I love and appreciate them. There really are no other girls on their level.
  • I love you. Sometimes I wish you’d love me too. 
  • There are friends in my life that tell me they love me. I don’t exactly believe them. 
  • I think God’s got something special planned for my family this year. I’m excited to see what it is. Can’t wait to find out if I get to be a part of it.
  • Please pray that I will be OBEDIENT to the things God asks of me.
  • I would kill for a Polaroid. If only that film wasn’t so dang expensive! 
  • I’d like to meet a fella. But at the same time I wouldn’t like to. Wow, I’m indecisive. 
  • I really shouldn’t watch so much Criminal Minds.
  • I want to take Nick Jonas out to lunch. And by that I mean I’d really like Nick Jonas to take me out to lunch.
  • This time tomorrow I’ll be on a flight to Atlanta.
  • I don’t want to speak negatively about anyone. It’s gonna be an hour-by-hour commitment until it becomes habit.
  • I should also work on being more encouraging. 
  • Dang, I am so blessed.

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(Source: anchortwat, via hellotherecindy)

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Like, I really wanna throw up. 

Like, I really wanna throw up. 

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CROCHET SHORTS (by Raquel Cañas) I lalalalove my crochet shorts! I want more <333

CROCHET SHORTS (by Raquel Cañas)

I lalalalove my crochet shorts! I want more <333

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Van laack (by Leeloo P)

Van laack (by Leeloo P)

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This awesome company not only knowingly uses child labor abroad, but also has sweatshops in LA where they pay illegal immigrants 4 dollars a day! woohoo!  Describing an AMERICAN factory: “In one, on the top floor, with no company name on the door, about 30 people are sewing gray cotton vests for Forever 21 in a small, hot room. Many of them have stuffed scraps of fabric into their noses to block the particles of material floating in the air.  They’re just finishing up a one-week, 10,000-piece order for which the seamstresses earn about 12 cents apiece… If they sew 66 vests an hour, they’ll earn minimum wage.  The price tags other workers are attaching read $13.80.” – Businessweek If this is in America, I don&#8217;t wanna know what the outsourced factories look like. Think about the things you buy. Is your 8 dollar blouse worth it?

This awesome company not only knowingly uses child labor abroad, but also has sweatshops in LA where they pay illegal immigrants 4 dollars a day! woohoo! 

Describing an AMERICAN factory:

“In one, on the top floor, with no company name on the door, about 30 people are sewing gray cotton vests for Forever 21 in a small, hot room. Many of them have stuffed scraps of fabric into their noses to block the particles of material floating in the air.  They’re just finishing up a one-week, 10,000-piece order for which the seamstresses earn about 12 cents apiece… If they sew 66 vests an hour, they’ll earn minimum wage.  The price tags other workers are attaching read $13.80.” – Businessweek


If this is in America, I don’t wanna know what the outsourced factories look like. Think about the things you buy. Is your 8 dollar blouse worth it?

(Source: 4rever-beyourself, via modestlydramatic)

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a few thoughts on lalaland.

As I’m preparing myself to move out of LA and back to my home in the Bay Area for the next year, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’m going to miss about living down here in tinsel town… and my honest answer is not much. There’s so much of this city that is so incredibly broken. From the homeless addicts, to the barely-holding-on families, to the struggling actors, to the anorexic models, to the porn addicted husbands, to the vain wives, to the ever present pressure to always be on top of new trends, to the fake smiles plastered on everyone’s faces because they are allegedly having the time of their lives. Again, there is so much broken. For a city that is so perfectly geographically located and calls itself home to the wealthiest and most fabulous of movie stars and socialites, it sure seems quite poor. In every crevice of this town there is pain - and that pain manifests itself in different ways. I’ve mostly seen it in extreme selfishness and rabid insecurity.

Please don’t get me wrong, I’ve met some incredible people here in Los Angeles, and not everyone is quite so superficial, but there is this overlying aroma here that is as constant as the smog-filled air we breathe everyday. It’s this stench of death, of mourning, of lost souls. 

I will pray incessantly for this city while I take a year long hiatus from it, and anxiously await for fall of 2013 when I can come back to help change it.  Los Angeles has the resources and the potential to be one of the most beautiful places on this earth. A place where no one has to go to sleep hungry,  where people are not used as means to an end.  The message this place could send to the world if the Christians here really all lived in light of what Jesus has done for us would be staggering. How easy would it be to shine here? Radical love and grace would stick out like a pair of Louboutin’s in Skid Row!  

I hate this place. But oh man, do I love it.

Another random note: I feel like Christians run away from big cities into safe suburbia. Weird. Aren’t the big cities where Paul and the disciples spent most of their time? Just a thought.

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Like, I know it&#8217;s been four years since we&#8217;ve spoken, but your teeth are showing in this picture. That&#8217;s saying something, right? And thankfully I don&#8217;t look like that anymore&#8230; all I&#8217;m saying is we could make this work.

Like, I know it’s been four years since we’ve spoken, but your teeth are showing in this picture. That’s saying something, right? And thankfully I don’t look like that anymore… all I’m saying is we could make this work.

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But really.. can I just have one date with Nicholas Jerry Jonas? Just one. Please.

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I die.

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